Distraction

Earlier this year, the beginning of May to be exact, as I was trying to launch my new line, I found myself spending way too much time on social media. Looking at what everyone else was up to, comparing myself, feeling behind, feeling inspired, feeling overwhelmed. I took Instagram and TikTok off my phone and vowed to stay off until at least Summer Solstice. (Summer Solstice was the planned launch date for the new line, Cosmic Mother.)

I needed to focus. I needed to listen to my own inner knowing. I needed to block out the distraction and get to work if this thing was ever going to get off the ground.

I sat down at the dining room table. Laptop open, my multi colored pens and paper at the ready nearby. Scheming and dreaming and to-do list creation underway. And as I sat with the to-do list and started working through, the minute things stopped flowing along smoothly, as soon as I got stuck or the website design wasn't working or I couldn't get a hold of who I needed to... as soon as any little obstacle got in the way, I reached for my phone. Oh, right. No IG to scroll. Back to work.

Another sticking point. Another reach for the phone.

Another re-direct to the task at hand.

Again and again and again and again.

Whoa. I thought to myself. How interesting to note that when things get just a teeny bit rocky, just a bit off course, I check out and look for a distraction. Look for something else to do rather than pushing through and getting the thing done. Huh.

It was enlightening to say the least. And as I started to set timers for myself for undistracted times of focus, the things, they started to get done. It wasn't taking long to go through the to-do list when I sat down to tackle it with nothing else to pull me away. It felt great to really start making progress on this business that I have so much passion for and so much desire to put out into the world.

I started to ask myself, if this is what I REALLY want to do, and it feels so deeply important to me to offer plant and energy medicine to the world, if this is aligned with my heart's path - why is it still so hard to move it forward? To motivate myself? Why is it taking so long to get this thing going?

Turns out - lots of reasons :)) But the most fascinating learning for me was around the nervous system. And remembering that when we take a step in a new direction, or sometimes even have the thought about taking that step into a new direction, our entire system directs us back to 'safety.'

Nope nope, don't need to do something new. Stay here. Here is safe. You don't need to try new things. No no. Go see what is happening in the news. Check out what your friend is up to. Oh yea, look at the mess she's making over there. She needs your help. Drop everything and go fix her life.

Distraction. Re-direction. Pulling you from making a change. Change is hard, change is scary and change is also necessary if you do want to step into that life you dream for yourself.

Over the course of the time off of social media, I found plenty of other ways to distract myself. I had to confess to my partner at one point, that I seemed to be obsessed with online word games?!?!?! Anything to release me from the task at hand. With this age of technology, the options are endless for the ways we can distract ourselves. It's easy to find yourself in the same place for years and years and years because you were so in the distraction (I'm speaking from experience here). It takes real effort and real intention and dedication to commit to something outside of what we've been programmed since childhood to do. Something different than the programs we run on loop for decades.

I always pull myself back from distraction with compassion - especially given how engrained these pathways are. I started to really take note of when I had this tendency to want to check out. It's fascinating to learn about these patterns so I can work with them and find ways to re-pattern and create new neural pathways, ways to expand my nervous system capacity so it feels safe with tiny steps in a new direction.

I'm still working on it. It's an ongoing experiment to work with my psyche and these distraction techniques, but if you're here, I've launched my new website and shared it with the world, so something is working!